Burning Man stories: How to figure out the unknown unknown
you know something is missing, but don't know what, how, why or where.
At 24, I had a well-paid job and a boyfriend good with money. The next steps were to get married, buy a house, help my parents immigrate to Canada, have kids and be happy thereafter. Yet I felt my world was a bit motionless, constrained and isolated. I looked around my friends and colleagues, no inspiration could be drawn to envision different ways of living.
I knew something was missing. But what was it? What did it look like? Where should I go to find it? These were all blurry to me. Maybe it was time to search for the unknown unknown somewhere else: the land of possibilities, lizards, aliens and spirits — Burning Man.
2023 August 26th, 10:00 am, home camp
Romy, the digital nomad
Burningman takes place in an off-the-grid desert. As an imperfect human, I need Wifi to be complete. I heard someone in our camp had Starlink.
“Hey Romy, may I use your wifi?” I asked, finding the Wi-Fi God sitting in the shade of his RV.
“Yea I was wondering why you would look for me…of course” he said, maybe this was the 101st time he got this question, but he still generously shared the password.
While enjoying the free WIFI, I couldn’t help but notice his vehicle. It’s red, kind of like a…firetruck ?
“This baby was an ambulance,” he said, clearly proud. “I spent months remodeling it into an RV. I’ve driven it all over the States, living and working in it. Even now, I’m technically ‘at work.’”
Turned out Romy had been living the digital nomad dream since COVID when quarantine had taken a toll on his mental health. He traveled across the country, went mountain biking in different states, and made many new friends.
Before him, I’ve never met any nomads in real life—they were like urban legends to me, with mysterious and liberating lifestyles. I would love the balance of work and world exploration, but always feared disconnecting from friends or the sting of loneliness. But watching Romy? It seemed…doable. Maybe I could try it out someday? Could this wild, untethered freedom be the missing piece in my stable yet stagnant life? Could the courage and bias for action be the key to breaking free from my dilemma?
2023 August 26th, 12:00 pm, home camp
Inanna, the American version of me?
The chat with Romy left me thinking about my future. Would I end up a nomad, roaming the world? Deep in thought, I roamed first into the kitchen, where I spotted Inanna, perched at the table with a deck of tarot cards in hand.
Just in time!
Inanna and I were the same age but she’s one of the healers in our camp with the ability to soothe worn-out souls. “Go ahead, pick a card.” she said, fanning out the deck in front of me. I reached in and pulled one.
Wonderful…This is what I got on my first draw of my first tarot reading.
“Woa! A big one. Not necessarily bad — It could mean a new start.” Inanna said, pivoting the interpretation skillfully.
As she read my future, I also got a glimpse into her past. Despite the same age, our lives were totally different. My life was like a chess game, each step carefully calculated, while hers was like an open-world RPG, with a series of spontaneous events weaving together. She was born and raised in Wisconsin, then a few years surfing and waiting tables in Hawaii, and now working 12-hour days on a friend's pot farm in Nevada while studying astrology at a community college!
She’s like a pro surfer riding the wave of life going wherever her heart took her.
What if I loosened my grip on my money anxieties and let myself chase my interests, a little more like Inanna? Could this freedom and self-trust be the missing pieces I needed?
The last card I drew was a lady taming a lion.
“Despite the hardships along the way,” Inanna said with a smile, “you will find inner strength in the end.”
2023 August 26th, 2:00 pm, home camp
Barney, the healer
Enough fooling around, it’s time to get to work. Healer Barney called me over to assist in one of his sessions.
A lady with brown hair was already sitting in the dome waiting for us.
“I want to pray,” said her.
“Oh? What does that mean?” Barney began drumming softly in front of her. “I don’t know about praying. What does it mean to you?” he asked, tossing the question back to her.
The lady started sharing her story in a trembling voice, “I have cancer and I’m dying. But I don't care. I’m here to pray for my friend’s kid who’s also sick. I just want him to be okay. I love him so much…”
“But I care about you!” Barney interrupted kindly, “Forget about the kid for a second. He’s going to be alright. Let’s talk about you.” His words were precise, like a surgeon locating the wound, shifting her attention inward.
I would never forget that afternoon. Under the bright desert sun, dust floating in the air, their eyes looking into each other, reaching the deepest part of their souls. As I was hugging the lady, feeling the warmth of her body, never have I felt so close to someone I just met for the first time, as if she was a family..
Barney’s words were so powerful, igniting a desperate person’s hope in just a few minutes. I felt something buried deep in me was erupting to the surface. I haven’t felt such an intense and genuine connection in so long. Could I care for people, help people, love people even if we were strangers? Could this kind of connection be the missing piece in my utilitarian world?
That night, I was sent to a death ritual in the deepest part of the desert.
My face pressed into the coarse sand. Wind carried the scent of dust. Living as an experience has never felt so concrete before. The digital nomad, the surfer, the healer…maybe my world was missing a bit of freedom, courage, community, humanity…I could not figure out these missing pieces unless I step into the unknown.
As the death card predicted, the end of Burning Man marked the beginning of my exploration in the real world.
With the courage and freedom gifted by Romy and Inanna, I embraced the nomad lifestyle, spending a month each in Mexico, China and New York. I met inspiring humans building communities that empower each other to live authentically and collaborate to improve education and social connection. If it weren’t for Barney and the praying lady showing me how strangers could connect like families, I would never have overcome the fear of leaving my current friend circle and opening my heart so much.
I’m still piecing together who I want to become, but everyday I’m discovering more shiny dimes: a bit of Romy, a bit of Inanna, a bit of Barney — each reveals something I didn’t know I was looking for, helping me see the edges of who I am and the shape I want to take. In some way, every piece makes me a little more of Chenshu.
It's almost like you needed to lose sight of the old map before you could start mapping a place of your own!