Life as a repeated prisoner's dilemma
so play for long term
Short-term thinking vs. long-term thinking
Prisoner's Dilemma
There is a classic concept in game theory called the prisoner's dilemma.
Two criminals, Zhang San and Li Si, were arrested and interrogated separately. The criminals could choose to confess or not. Depending on their choice, there are four possible outcomes:
If you are Zhang San, then if you confess and Li Si does not, your outcome will be the best: you will be released immediately, while Li Si will be imprisoned for 20 years.
Repeated Prisoner's Dilemma
Now imagine that this experiment is repeated ten times in a row, and the criminals know their partner's choice in the previous round.
If Zhang San continues to cheat Li Si, then Li Si will choose to betray Zhang San in the next round. The result is that they betray each other every time and go to jail for five years every time.
But if they use a cooperative strategy and neither confesses, they will only be imprisoned for one year each time. The result of each criminal in a single game is not optimal, but the total time of imprisonment for the two of them in ten times is the shortest.
Short-term thinking vs. long-term thinking
These two experiments illustrate the difference between short-term thinking and long-term thinking. Short-term thinking seeks to maximize immediate benefits, for example, Zhang San can be released immediately if he cheats Li Si. However, in a long-term repetitive game, the choice of sacrificing some short-term benefits (Zhang San and Li Si cooperate) will actually make more money.
Life is like a repeated prisoner's dilemma
Life is more like a serial prisoner's dilemma, a repeated non-zero-sum game.
There is usually a John Doe with whom we experience life. This John Doe can be a person, a job, or some form of entertainment.
In most cases, this won’t be the last time we meet with Li Si, but we are always used to short-term thinking when dealing with him. For example, we always want to see results immediately, such as losing 10 pounds in a month, mastering Java in 20 days, and earning a million in 30 days. Maybe you work very hard, and you do lose 10 pounds in a month and earn a million a month, but what about next month? Next month, your weight may rebound, the market may not be good, or you may not want to program anymore and want to paint. Li Si will change, and not everything is under our control.
Perhaps we should extend the time span and think long-term: How can we maintain a long-term good relationship and pleasant cooperation with Li Si?
Maintain good relationships with people
Relationships — It’s best not to cheat
In a one-on-one relationship, when Li Si is our partner, short-term thinking can be to betray Li Si and pursue the pleasure of cheating.
A cheater can enjoy the security of a stable relationship and the freshness of a new partner, which can be said to maximize personal interests. If Li Si finds out and adopts a betrayal strategy, it will lead to the two people in the relationship "playing their own games". Even if Li Si does not find out, Zhang San has lost the ability to trust others because he himself cannot be trusted. Trust is the cornerstone of a stable relationship, so no matter how the other party reacts, Zhang San's sense of happiness is reduced.
Thinking from a long-term perspective, neither Zhang San nor Li Si should cheat. They should choose loyalty, trust, and cooperation when they are caught again and again, which is beneficial to their overall long-term happiness.
Of course, this is just a theoretical discussion. The reasons for cheating in real life vary greatly and cannot be judged within a simple framework.
Friends/colleague relationships - give others a way out
If Li Si is our friend or colleague, and we see him/her every day, it is best not to make the relationship awkward, otherwise we will feel uncomfortable every time we meet. Although it is pleasant to say something unpleasant to vent your anger when you have a conflict with your friends, it will also hurt the other person. Not only will it be awkward when you meet him/her next time, but it may also be difficult for the relationship to return to the way it was before.
In order to have a pleasant meeting next time, it is better to leave a way out when speaking and doing things, unless you have decided not to have anything to do with this person anymore.
Relationship with yourself - Don't hurt yourself
French mathematician Pascal once said: The only reason a man is unhappy is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room.
Sometimes, John Doe is ourselves. Have you ever wondered how to maintain a good relationship with yourself?
When you feel lonely, instead of looking for others to entertain you, you might as well cherish the opportunity to spend time with yourself. Take yourself to the park, watch a movie, have a cup of coffee, or go on a date with yourself. It might be a very enjoyable thing.
We should also be careful not to hurt ourselves, just like we should not hurt our friends. When we fail to meet our expectations or make mistakes, we should not be too harsh on ourselves. We should always respect ourselves, love ourselves, and be patient with ourselves. Only in this way can we look at ourselves objectively, encourage ourselves to stand up from setbacks, and persevere in the long run of life.
Just like Li Xueqin said, as long as you don't leave the table, the food will always be yours.
Maintain a good relationship with your work — avoid burnout
Sometimes Li Si is also like work, we meet it almost every day.
67% of American employees say they have experienced burnout at least once in their careers. Work becomes boring or too demanding, leading to burnout.
From the perspective of long-term career development, how to continue to attend class may be more important than achieving great success in a short-term sprint.
Nobel Prize winner Hemingway overcame writer's block by deliberately stopping when he knew what was going to happen next. This moderation allowed him to start writing every day with anticipation, knowing what to write next, rather than staring at a blank page.
We should also work in moderation. We should neither harm our work by doing things carelessly, nor let our work harm us by overdrawing our mental and physical energy.
The standard of moderation is, how do you feel when you think about working the next day? If you have a good relationship with your work, you will look forward to work like meeting a good friend, enjoy work, or at least not be bored or resist it.
Have a good relationship with food — stop dieting
Eating is also something we have to do every day.
But people's relationship with food is becoming more and more complicated. My relationship with cupcakes is a love-hate relationship - I love its deliciousness, but I also hate its high calories. I often want to give it up, but I have never succeeded.
Lately I've been thinking, maybe I can't go without cake forever, and this won't be the last time we meet, so why not throw away the guilt and enjoy the cake wholeheartedly?
When I want to eat more, I ask myself, if I eat too much this time, will I still be happy to meet the cake next time? This helps me find a sweet spot (pun intended) between "unsatisfied" and "tired of eating", so that I can enjoy the cake for a long time.
Maintain a healthy relationship with entertainment — moderation is for long-term enjoyment
The enjoyment of food can be extended to all entertainment items, such as watching dramas, reading comics, watching videos, smoking, drinking, pornography, gambling, drugs, etc. The spectrum of enjoyment can range from small enjoyable pleasures at one end to the great pleasures (or pain) of compulsive addiction at the other end.
Self-discipline is a cliché, often with a kind of disgusting restraint on instinct. But think about it from another perspective, it can allow us to enjoy the things we like for a longer time. In this way, self-discipline is not anti-instinct, but a natural choice that conforms to the pursuit of happiness.
Conclusion: Eternal Reincarnation with Li Si
Having written this far, I think my interest in the repeated prisoner's dilemma mainly stems from "repetition". Just like Nietzsche's thinking about life as "eternal reincarnation". If everything, every experience will be repeated infinitely many times, then what choice will you make? What attitude will you take to face it? To the extent that you are willing to let that thing happen countless times?
The result of each repetition is like the accumulation of karma, which not only affects the present, but also affects the mentality and choices in the future.
I hope everyone can have a pleasant cooperation with Li Si every time:)
References
burnout statistics: https://www.spill.chat/mental-health-statistics/workplace-burnout-statistics
Prisoner's dilemma:
Prisoner's Dilemma (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)